July 2004

Businessman
Thursday, July 1st, 2004

I found this joke from my old English book:

A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.

“Do you always carry such heavy luggage?” she sighed.

“No more” he said. “next time, I will ride in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!”

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Frank believed that five was his special number. He was born on May 5, had five children and lived at 555 East 55 Street.

At the track on his 55th birthday, he was surprised to find a horse named Numero Cinco Running in the fifth race. So five minutes before the race, he went to the fifth window and put five thousand down on Numero Cinco.

Sure enough, the horse finished fifth.

The doctor told Uncle Fudd that if he ran five miles a day for 300 days, he would lose 75 pounds.

At the end of 300 days, Uncle Fudd called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.

“What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.

“I’m 1500 miles from home.”

One day a beautiful young lady went to a famous artist and said, “I want you to paint a picture of me. How much will it cost?”

“Five hundred pounds.” said the artist.

“Oh?” said the lady, “That is a lot of money.” Then she thought that, as she had a very beautiful body, the artist might be happy to paint her picture more cheaply if she wore no clothes while he was painting it.

So she said, “And how much will it cost if you paint me without any clothes on?”

The artist thought for a moment. “One thousand pounds.” he then said. “But I shall have to keep my socks on, because my feet get cold, and I shall have to wear something to put my brushed in.”

I just got some feedback from a friend that there is another funny story about the Japanese toillet.

She said that a colleague of hers was curious about the toilet. He was wondering how the toillet can clean up the bum and he tried to check it, so he put his head down the toilet.

However, because of the sensors on the toilet seat, he got a face full of water because the toilet thought his face was a bum.

We were walking on the street on the way to the Pub on Saturday. There were 2 men walking towards Giles and wondered if he knew where the Gay Pub was.

They might of thought that Giles is their friend and know where they go usually.

Giles had a dream that there was a cat inside our house, when in fact there wasn’t one.

He thought that Kotaro the Japanese Cat can pee in the toilet and then flush it afterwards.

Here’s the latest picture of Kotaro in Japan:

Again this story involves Giles. This time he went for an interview with a good company and thought it went well. The man interviewing him was friendly and asked him to go for a drink sometime.

He then received an email so say that the man interviewing him had to go to hospital. It seems that the man was at work and wanted to break wind. But the man did it too hard and then had to go to hospital as some blood came out.

He ended up staying in hospital and then having to wear baby pants for two weeks! It’s a true story!

This story came from a new design we are working on - called Raybot. Raybot
is still being developed, but it’s a Artificial Intelligent Robot that can
answer your questions and talk to you in a friendly way.

Anyway, I was talking to my Taiwanese Uncle one time and we both saw that
Giles’ father came online via MSN Messenger.

We all talked to each other and my Uncle asked him how old he was, he said
his age was 60 and my Uncle called him old Grandpa. I think Giles’ father
was surprised and called him a cheeky old sod.

Anyway, Giles had an idea of programming the robot so when the Uncle uses
it, it’ll say “Hello Uncle Ham Sup”…